In the early days of psychotherapy the legal process influenced how people saw sanity and insanity. One of the laws that were very influential in many countries was the illegality of homosexuality, specifically male to male. As a reflection of this, it was medically defined that homosexuality was a mental illness.
Many men were defined as insane because they desired love from another man
and or were attracted to men. The legal aspect attacked the body, the psychological aspect attacked the mind, the combined effect added to societies message which attacked the heart and soul of a large proportion of people.
Some men hid who they were, pretending to be straight, denying the aspect of themselves that was homosexual. Some men hid from society instead. Some men pushed back. Many men died.
Those who denied themselves often sought help to “be straight”. Gay conversion therapy in the USA was created by a psychologist who was trying to use the best tools of the time to address the distress of his clients who came in “wanting to love their wives properly” as society demanded, or “not to feel attracted to men”, which was defined at the time as wrong.
We now look back at this and are generally revolted. Gay conversion is banned in a number of countries. It does not “work” and misleads people into thinking that being homeosexaul is wrong and an illness to be cured. We now know that homosexuality is an aspect of being human. Not all people have it, but it is normal.
Homosexuality is like having blue eyes. Imagine if blue eyes were defined as a weakness, a failure to be part of the brown eyed majority, something to hide behind shaded glasses or contact lenses. Eye colour is a thing about you that is part of you. You cannot will your eyes to change colour, you can’t talk your way to changing the nature of your eyes and you shouldn’t have to hide it. Not all people have it, but it is normal.
Not all of society has caught up to the latest science and social attitudes.
People who have grown up in the transition phase from where homosexuality was defined as illegal and a mental illness to now where it is embraced by enough of society that people can be very open about their sexuality have a natural anger and outrage that who they are was once defined as wrong, as deviant, as insane.
We once thought that slavery was normal and fine. Well, those who weren’t slaves thought so. Now we know better.
I work with many clients over various representations of the human norm. The section that is filling my mind of late is the neruodivergent section. The diversity of mind that doesn’t really fit the current societal model and expectations. Sometimes this divergence comes with a handful of considerations, and sometimes people with a divergence happen to also have other things going on that are actual problems.
An example of a consideration is white skin at the equator. There is nothing wrong with having a low melanin count in your skin. If you do, it is important to note that you have a higher sensitivity to ultraviolet radiation, increasing your risk of sun damage in the forms of temporary burns and long term exposure can increase your risk of skin cancer. Sunburn and skin cancer are secondary to over exposure to ultraviolet radiation while at the same time having pale skin. People who have a high melanin count are less likely to get sunburn and skin cancer, but with a high enough exposure will also do so. They are just less sensitive to it. The flip side is, people who have a lot of melanin in their skin away from the equator are more prone to vitamin D deficiency, which can lead to a secondary problem of brittle bones. There is no “right” skin colour, because that implies a “wrong” skin colour.
A common secondary problem that comes with being divergent to the defined normal is anxiety and depression. Being told that who you are is an error enough times will make anyone terrified of being caught and exposed, lost in who you are and where you fit and your sense of self can be very damaged. Often you will spend a large amount of your early childhood resources trying to “fit in”, that is, camouflage yourself. This takes away from the resource you may use for learning and other things.
Imagine if we stopped this. Instead of telling kids “be like Johnny and Sue”, we said “be you” and embraced them. There goes the secondary anxiety and depression.
It is important to note that secondary anxiety and or depression are often mistaken for primary anxiety and or depression. Primary anxiety is a condition all on its own, which often has a neurological component to it. Secondary anxiety is a reaction to things you have experienced.
Look back at the example of homosexuality being defined as “wrong”. Many men spent a lot of personal resource not being found out, denying their own nature and feeling generally horrible about themselves on the assumption that society was right to define “them” as wrong. The suicide rate amongst homosexual people was very high (it still is, but it has dropped compared to 50 years ago).
Homosexual men often came to therapy anxious and depressed. Only once trust was made (rapport), would they also talk about their feelings of alienation and self loathing, their confusion about sexual identity and finally revealing, often reluctantly and with mixed denial, their homosexuality. In those early days, the next question would be “can you fix me?”
The answer to that, now, is “there is nothing to fix”. Instead of trying to fix homosexuality, the focus is to embracing who you are, finding like minded people and letting go of those who judge you, as they are backwards members of society.
There is understandable outrage at being judged by society as wrong when there is nothing wrong.
Experiments have been done with random “in group” and “out group” assignments with many school kids. It doesn’t matter what the arbitrary grouping is – eye colour, the flip of a coin, male vs female, the hidden witch etc – the results are the same. People form inclusion and exclusion for no good reason.
This is happening right now, and like the early days of society reform around sexuality, there is a burgeoning outrage by the divergent populations who are being currently defined as “wrong” for being a normal variance of “human”. We now understand that this idea of “wrong” is, in fact, wrong.
I work with people who use suicidal ideation,self harm and intoxication to manage their experience. A large proportion of them have no medical condition – such as gross perceptual hallucinations; psychosis; various neurological conditions; terminal illness; chronic pain – to explain their experience.
They have a social condition to explain their experience.
They are currently rejected by society because who they are is defined as “wrong”.
You are currently reading this, or listening to someone/thing else reading this. I wrote this on a computer, stored in the “cloud” on a website, displayed on a screen connected to “the net”, or printed on a page by a device – none of which was conceived or developed by “normal” people. Our entire technological “advancement” was made by people society defines as abnormal. The irony is that while we applaud the result, we deplore the people.
The outrage is good.
The outrage is normal.
The outrage is the first stage of standing up and fighting the false assumptions of wrongness.
It will drive us to become loud and normalise being us. I encourage those who have the strength to follow the example given to us by the homosexual community, the slaves, the women, the people of colour, all of the oppressed peoples – to have divergent pride and stop allowing people to condemning those who are different.