If you want changes in your life, you have to make changes in your life

I have often heard that there are three types of people in this world, those who can count, and those who can’t.
I believe that two categories is more appropriate, with several sub types.

The Blamers

Blamers concentrate on the problem rather than the solution. Generally the problem seems insurmountable and nothing much is done about it.

Self Blamers

Self Blamers feel that they are the sole contributor to the problem. They are usually accompanied by self pity, low self esteem and fail to act because they don’t feel that they are worthy. Often the amount of change that needs to be done to the self seems too much to actually achieve anything and so the individual fails to modify behaviours, perspectives and life style to address the issues that are holding the individual back.
A large proportion of the energy of the individual is pumped back into feeling incapable and unworthy rather than actually working on a solution. The individual is so problem focused that they cannot see solutions, even if they are looking. Self Blamers often run out of hope and just stop trying.
Self Blamers often excuse their lack of action on an inability to work out why they should change, or how they could change that they haven’t already tried and failed. Self Blamers will often given token efforts at change and stop before any significant result can be noticed.

External Blamers

External Blamers feel that they have nothing to do with the problem. That is someone(s) or something(s) else has created this problem and the problem would just go away if someone else would change and fix it.
People who have this mind set generally see the responsibility for change to be someone else’s. When they do see that they should make a change to fix the problem, they plan to change the whole world, which is too hard and destined to fail.
All of the power to solve what ever problems the individual faces, is in someone else’s hands. This forms the basis for a lack of action as solving the problem is too big, to complicated and not really their responsibility.

The Doers

Doers come in three main flavours. Doers are those who act to solve a problem because they see that unless they do something, then nothing will change.

Overachieving Doer

This individual takes on too many changes and cannot adequately support any single change, leading to a systemic failure as the house of cards falls down due to poor foundations and design. The Overachieving Doer is someone who makes up for quality with quantity, but without that quality will find that quantities of crap only creates a very large pile of crap.
The Overachieving Doer will often be heard to exclaim that with this much effort something is going to change. This may be true, but the odds are that when something does change, the Overachieving Doer won’t notice it in the large pile of crap they have created for themselves. The Overachieving Doer has no real game plan, they just keep trying to plug leaks in the damn wall and hope that it will all work out. The likelihood of disaster is high because the individual has not got an effective strategy for success and too few resources to share amongst all of the actions.

All-or-nothing Doer

As I couldn’t think up a snappy two word description, I have cheated by concatenating three words into one.
The All-0r-nothing Doer is an individual who will put all effort into changing one single aspect and assume that it will change everything. These individuals will use lines like “If I just get this one thing done, everything will be all right”. Unfortunately this is often a head in the sand solution. If problems were as easy as solving one thing, then they wouldn’t be problems. In effect, this is an attempt to regain control of the situation by controlling a part of the situation. It is an illusion, controlling part does not control the whole.
Going back to our bursting damn solution, it is like ensuring that you find the right piece of wood to put in the right spot at the right time to prevent the crumbling wall from falling down. Failure means disaster.
Balanced Doer

I was considering this step to be the “Thoughtful Doer”, but I think Balanced Doer is a better descriptor. This is a match between the All-or-nothing Doer and the Overachieving Doer. This individual will try a small range of plans to make the necessary change to solve this problem. By considering the problem first and working out goals to achieve to create the solution, this person uses energy in a balanced way to make headway in several different aspects to achieve a solution. Due to the limit of having only a few plans in place, this person can meter our the resources to make effective change.
Not all the plans will work, but because several are on the go at the same time, the average is success. This makes failure of a plan a learning curve rather than a disaster.

Having a few plans for making changes that are not important is just as foolish as all of the other strategies. To be effective requires understanding the problem, coming up with a plan and believing in ones self worth and ability to achieve.